(This post is dedicated to Jean Smith).
So here I sit: a man and his computer, taking a very sober look (neverminding a mild state of intoxication) at the profiles on PoF. It's horrible, really. Just the headlines tell it all: "Can you make me smile" (to which I retort: yes, but why would I want to); "Looking For An Honest, Fun Guy" (a. she won't be able to handle me; b. her idea of fun probably involves live comedy, alcohol, or possibly 4X4ing); "Are you a gentleman" (in a way, but it's not one of the first 100 keywords in my self-definition); "Did someone say doobie?" (which makes me smile, at least); "summers here" (a profile heading that possibly could use an updating, unless the woman is named "Summer" and announcing herself; either way it would profit from an apostrophe and a couple of capital letters). There's also the ubiquitous ";)" - which looks strange if I follow it with a semicolon; "Allow me to introduce... myself" (which bespeaks a certain vanity and sets a Rolling Stones song playing in the back of my mind, the associations of which do not intice me to wish to date someone). Even worse, we then have "the kind of dirty U just can't wash clean," which even at my most desperate and deranged would have seemed dark and self-destructive and well worth avoiding (what was that old bit of advice - never sleep with a woman whose problems are worse than your own?). She's followed by "meeting new ppl," which I suppose might have been entered from a cellphone - echoed somewhat below by "done with fake ppl" and...
Oh, it just gets depressing. Then suddenly, as I scroll down the list, I encounter a girl who lists "Francois Truffaut films" as an interest, and I perk up! Just LOOK at these interests: "bookstores, post-punk, east van styles"... Okay, so I could do without Hemingway and Kate Bush, but she's only 23, which buys her some slack; and her profile heading is a reference to my favourite Wire song (I won't say which, but suffice it to say that it makes me want to change mine from "Lost In the Suburbs" to "Fish Fingers All In A Row," which is the same thing, really)! She fills me with fondness of a completely useless sort, since (sigh) I don't want to date a 23 year old and she likely doesn't want to date a 41 year old. But who on PoF lists frickin' TRUFFAUT as an interest? (I mean, sure, my profile has Cassavetes and Bergman listed - I left Fassbinder off this one - but that's ME, right? It doesn't even matter to me that I have no particular interest in Truffaut at present, it still counts for something, given the nature of this particular pond).
...so suddenly I get inspired and do "interest" searches for filmmakers. To increase the span of my catch I search for ANYONE IN CANADA who has listed Cassavetes as an interest.
Zero hits. ("Only 0 results are shown below. Your search may be too specific." But believe it or not, this is not entirely foolish of me: I still correspond with a Cassavetes fan in Australia that I met doing a search for "Cassavetes" on Friendster, if you remember them).
How about Bergman?
(Sigh): Werner Herzog - but of course; I find two women in Toronto, one of whom has, it happens, just relocated from Vancouver. But she also lists The Smiths as an interest, and I'm not about to move to Toronto... so what point does this serve? I should just go back to searching people close to Vancouver. It's not hopeless: "film," "writing," "cult movies," "horror movies," and "punk rock" all net options...
Hm... what about mumblecore? Nada. Well, let's search for "Bookstores," shall we? That seems like a good idea...