It's funny: knowing that my job would be ending this week didn't do much to spark panic in me. I worked out my last days, signed a form waiving right of recall, hugged a few coworkers goodbye, and caught the train home on Tuesday without so much as a quiver of nervousness. It was a good time to get out, a nice confluence of events: there was a Workforce Reduction Program in place, the company was restructuring, wages were dropping, and the ESL business in general is kind of floundering in Vancouver, after several great years. I reasoned that if I'm ever going to do anything else with my life besides correct the same bloody grammatical errors year in and year out, teaching the same material over and over again in endless rotation, this was the perfect time to do it.
Nerves started flickering on Wednesday, with the realization that I'm now unemployed. Thursday, when I actually filled out my EI claim, made things a bit worse - promising that you're actively looking for work is a bit nerve-wracking when you don't really know what you want to do next. I managed to hold off my panic this afternoon by making a few productive steps - typing out a resume, exploring a few options for retraining, making an appointment at an employment services agency where I can get some "free advice" - trying not to make too much of the fact that the other client waiting in the office had a spider crudely tattooed on his neck. What I want to do (a master in film studies) is somewhat offset by the fact that I don't know if there are jobs; what I know I could do, jobwise (pretty much anything involving teaching) is somewhat dampened by the fact that I would really rather write, or... oh, a lot of things.
Anyone need work done? I'm all ears.