Sunday, November 15, 2015

Fucking Edgewarps!

I think my days of buying new vinyl might be coming to a close, because it seems like at least one in four new LPs I buy has an edgewarp. They're ubiquitous, nowadaways; often slight, but just enough that the first song on either side of many albums I get skips all the way through it. Usually it calms down one song in, but when the first song on a side is one of your favourites on the record, this can be really, really frustrating.

Part of the problem, mind you, is the turntable I'm using. The weight can't be adjusted, is set kind of light, I guess, and the cartridge rides quite low to the vinyl, so - even if I try old tricks like putting a penny on it - it tends to be very, very sensitive to warps. Albums that play just fine on other record players (and I've tested them so I know) skip and jump all over the place on my turntable, at least for the first track on either side. I end up feeling like I can't just return every warped album I buy; because I know that they'd play just fine on some other cat's turntable.

But fuck me, I want records that work! Case in point: bought two GG Allin reissues at Audiopile; one is warped.

Or try this: returned Titus Andronicus' Local Business to Red Cat today because of an edgewarp, and because I wanted a copy of the album, damnit. The one I brought back was pink vinyl, the limited edition first pressing. The one I got in its stead was black vinyl, but fuckit, I don't care, as long as I can play "Ecce Homo," you know?

But guess what? I traded in a warped record for a warped record. Exactly the same problem, and "Ecce Homo" is track one, side one. Fugggh. Luckily my Yob and Willie Thrasher records I bought there work just fine, but it's too much of a pain in the ass to bother bringing the album in AGAIN, you know? Maybe it will play if/ when I upgrade my turntable, it's a pretty mild warp. Until that day, though, I think I'm going to have to swear off new vinyl. I just don't need the hassle of having to choose between the mild guilt of bringing back something someone else might be able to play, versus the frustration of keeping something that *I* can't play. It's just not a good feelin'.

Fuckin' edgewarps!

1 comment:

Allan MacInnis said...

Aha! I was able to fix my GG Allin edgewarp. It's a simple enough method: you get a flat surface (hardwood floor, in this case) and you take the album (or a small stack of similarly edgewarped records) out of the cover, put the album in its inner sleeve flat on said surface, and put a stack of a few dozen records on top of them, and leave them there for a week or so. I put three warped albums at the bottom of the stack this time: Titus Andronicus, Black Lips, and GG. Only GG flattened, but hey, I paid over $25 for that record, and I'd decided NOT to bring it back, so it's still great. Why some warps prove less mendable than others I cannot say - my success ratio for this method so far is only about one in five, actually, but it's still better than nothin'.

On the other hand, my girlfriend still doesn't want to listen to GG Allin, and I don't think I will ever get her to see the light on that point. Playing her his music certainly doesn't seem to help!